• Train the employee in nonverbal communication. Give the employee training that sensitizes him more to the reactions of others. If he has offended people repeatedly, then you must deal with the possibility that the employee just does not know how to read people. A good communications coach who deals in nonverbal communication can help. Be sure that you tell the coach that you want help for the employee in reading nonverbals rather than sending them.

As mentioned previously, videotapes can be great aids. Play the tape of the meeting and pause the tape on people’s faces as they
send nonverbal signals that they are distressed or uncomfortable.

Also, give the employee some examples of verbal signals that he may be getting and ignoring. Some employees ignore explicit statements or do not take them at face value. They think people are kidding when they tell them to stop or change the subject. Unfortunately, many people do kid around when they are uncomfortable, so they are partly to blame when a coworker doesn’t take their feedback seriously. Tell the employee that he must heed comments that tell him that he is offending people, comments such as: “You can’t be serious,” “Let’s change the subject,” “I think we have covered that subject,” “I don’t want to hear it,” “You know we don’t agree on that,” “Go away,” or “Shut up.”

• Facilitate a meeting between coworkers who are offended and the
offensive employee. Is the crux of the problem that the offending
employee is more of a problem to some employees than to others
or to you? Then do a team-building meeting between the offending
employee and one or two offended employees. Don’t allow a bunch of employees to gang up on one person. Ask the offended employees if they want to volunteer to discuss the problem in a meeting that you will facilitate. Ask them to refrain from making accusing statements or statements demeaning the offender’s character, taste, background, or other traits. Instead, ask the offended employees to start with a statement like this: “I respect your work
and your work ethic. I want to ask that you avoid talking about
politics in my presence, since I feel uncomfortable when you do.”
In other words, tell the employee to (1) validate the offensive employee for what she does right, (2) ask specifically for the desired change in respectful language, and (3) tell how the offensive conversation makes him feel. On this last component, be sure that the employee is describing his feelings and not evaluating the other person’s character or judgment. Writing this statement out ahead of time and going over it is a good idea so that the conversation doesn’t break down into an accusation.

Taken From: 201 Ways to Turn Any Employee Into a STAR Performer